Adelaide Zone Twaklin

A Friendly Environment

2012-02-02T10:14:00.002+10:30

It is much easier to be environmentally-friendly in a friendly environment. This applies wherever you may be in the world. It equally applies in your social environment, your natural environment, your economic environment, and your political environment. But what does it mean to be friendly?

Friendship, like leadership, is about identifying and respecting limits and boundaries. Just as sensible persons find it unacceptable for anyone to steal their passwords, their mobile telephones, their identity, or their tulip bulbs, most of us are not particularly happy being around people who steal our time, our attention, our peace of mind, our creative ideas or the affection of someone we love.

Lifelong companionship requires a friendly environment. Successful businesses require a friendly environment. Living a long, happy and healthy life is often dependent upon being in a friendly, healthy environment. Socially acceptable, trustworthy behaviour is usually friendly. And friendship requires good leadership if it is to be achieved and sustained, and vice versa.

One of my main duties as an ethereal being is to ensure that my delightful home town of Adelaide becomes even more friendly than it is already. Adelaide and its politicians should always be friendly to environmentally-friendly businesses, environmentally-friendly residents, environmentally-friendly visitors and environmentally-friendly events. What does being environmentally-friendly mean to you, dear reader?

Here are some friendly links:

A pleasantly cool environment

A friendly local community

Streets named after some of my friends and acquaintances

Good leaders see hierarchies as historical pictures rather than as current landscapes. Such leaders treat all persons within their organisations as colleagues, regardless of their employment roles and status. All persons within an organisation should be working towards the same environmentally-friendly goals. But who should be responsible for defining and establishing those goals in the first place?

You may know something of my contribution to good leadership in political life. If you are already familiar with my activities as a business leader, you will know that I treat some forms of speculation and most forms of gambling as if they are unfriendly and intrusive. For that reason, I am frequently invited to provide good leadership within both the local and global economies.

Creative speculations

Influential female friendships

Scientific gambling on government

A for achievements

My very dearest friend's views

To buy or not to buy

Great Aunt Twaklin advises

Nobility and no bull causes

An economical archive

If you are a leader of a business listed on the Australian Securities Exchange, you should probably now be rehearsing for the current reporting season. Practicing the right techniques, having some stage presence and timing, displaying elegance and originality can all be very difficult indeed if you and your colleagues lack talent or something easy to sell in a marketplace. Perhaps I can be of assistance.

Social networking is important, of course, wherever you are at present. Will you be attending any charity balls, gala balls, opera balls and other arts events during the reporting season? I am familiar with such occasions held at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City, as well as several in Vienna and Adelaide.

I am frequently willing to accept fully pre-paid, politically-neutral ethereal invitations to attend any open-minded, friendly occasions anywhere in the world for networking or philanthropic purposes, as long as there is no suppression of justifiable dissent. Do be advised, however, that I believe the waltz and other uninformed or inappropriate disturbances and indignities to be shockingly outrageous breaches of acceptable social, political and business boundaries. You may wish to make a note of these matters in your Minutes and minuets.

I do hope your registered office is in Adelaide. Have you ever considered moving your legal identity to Wilmington? It is very important to ensure you pick the right geographical location if you wish to continue along the lines of your previous business success, and perhaps even improve your performance.

Wilmington One | Wilmington Two

One of my own colleagues, a very friendly trainee copy editor by the name of Roo Bert Muddy Ocker (whose surname is sometimes shortened to MudOck) has been sounding out various Adelaide communities and businesses on my behalf. He claims to have a great deal of past experience at various Adelaide shows known as Annual General Meetings, though he is not all that keen on going to the opera, charity balls or even the Adelaide Fringe.

Mr Muddy Ocker says his favourite Adelaide performance occurred in October 2004. Were you there too? That particular performance did not have a proper title at the time but I have been told that some of the performers in question have since called their presentations The Tempestuous, based upon the responses of audiences and critics.

My favourite Adelaide performance happened in 1995, when I had a front row seat and my feet in the sand at the Space Theatre whilst sitting next to my dear friend Mr William Shakespeare. We saw the Belvoir Street Theatre Company's presentation of Mr Shakespeare's work known as The Tempest.

Perhaps you were there. Were you an audience member, one of the production staff or one of the adequately quarantined strolling players? I believe Mr Shakespeare intended the work to resemble the global economy, especially as I was one of his main advisers regarding the plot. The character of Prospero was meant to be a lady called Prosperity, but no ladies expressing a willingness present the part could be found in time for the first performance approximately 400 years ago.

Mr Shakespeare enjoys visiting my library and even borrows some of my books from time to time. He finds my little villa to be an exceedingly friendly environment and hopes you do, too. Whatever your tastes, beliefs and opinions, I do hope you will join me, my friends and my colleagues over the coming months in an environmentally-friendly exploration of Adelaide's future and world peace.

I certainly would not want to see Adelaide's built environment develop into something resembling the Delaware Valley, the Pearl River Delta, the Mumbai Metropolitan Region, the Province of Naples, Milan, New York metropolitan area or even Vienna. I quite like the fact that I live somewhere resembling a remote, wondrous, beautiful and magical island. The people of Wilmington One and regional Australia may think likewise about Adelaide, as may the many millions of urban people around the world who enjoy eating bread, chapatis, pasta, cakes and noodles.

Sharing surplus food is a very friendly use of any environment, whether across the tea table in my parlour, or across the suburbs of Adelaide, or across the Mount Lofty and Flinders Ranges, or across the oceans and far away. I do hope you will let me know how your reporting performance is received. And I especially hope your audience is friendly.

Appropriately Economical and Peaceful Guest Lists

2012-02-01T11:40:00.008+10:30

It has come to my attention that the World Enlightenment Forum could, perhaps, teach the World Economic Forum a thing or two about compiling appropriately economical and peaceful guest lists. Mr Mozart is of a similar opinion. At least 30% of guests at such events should be adult female persons.

Mr Mozart and I are both delighted, of course, with the excellent qualities of the ladies invited to attend both forums (or fora, or for a change), even though only a few such persons are able to play the violin. It is the excessive quantity of male persons, with or without a desire for masculine domination, which is of greatest concern to us, regardless of who holds the purse strings, assists with the creation of world peace, or animates the violin strings.

Women are, of course, usually very busy indeed, hence their difficulty in attending material global gatherings, corporate board meetings and parliamentary cabinets for any length of time. The ethereal nature of the World Enlightenment Forum makes it so much easier for time-poor ladies (and gentlemen, as well as enlightened trans-gendered persons who may even self-identify in different ways on different days) to participate in its panels and other events, even during a news embargo.

Cleaning up the world

As a consequence of their digital or material attendance at the World Enlightenment Forum, many ladies are then able to manage their time so that they are no longer economically and politically poorer than their male counterparts. All participants are required to pack their own luggage, bring and prepare their own food, clean their own rooms, arrange their own transportation, wash their own clothes and dishes, manage their own security, brush their own shoes, make suitable alternative arrangements for the supervision of their offspring and frail elderly relatives, and send and respond to emails, telephone messages, social media and mainstream media inquiries themselves. They are also required to do their own research, buy their own stationery, write their own speeches, manage their own budgets, provide their own hospitality and earn their own keep in a fair and thoughtful way.

Perhaps this is why those attending the 2012 World Enlightenment Forum consisted of 64% ladies, 35% gentlemen and 1% fraudsters. The latter were easy to spot as they were the only ones dropping litter and dirty linen. Only 3% of the fraudsters were women. The World Economic Forum, on the other hand, had only 17% of guests who were ladies, an as yet unknown quantity of gentlemen, and an as yet unknown quantity of fraudsters. I am awaiting a response regarding the exact figures. If you were in Davos, did you see anyone dropping litter, and did you drop any yourself?

Thinking about the future

Listening to the viewpoints of ladies, especially when they are busy cleaning up after you, is profoundly important, regardless of your gender. At next year's World Enlightenment Forum, we are hoping to have a better gender balance, though our extensive global research suggests that at least 25% of the world's male population believe it is far more important to watch sporting events than it is to help around the home or conference venue.

As a chief executive officer myself, I am usually far too busy to go to a remote part of Switzerland, especially in the middle of an Australian summer. It is so much more convenient, worthwhile, economical and insightful for me to have year-round global access to important opinions in my own parlour. And through my prior, extensive experience of Switzerland, I know that it is almost impossible there to find a decent cup of tea, even with glacial water on tap (which is probably diminishing as rapidly as the lower Murray).

I do, however, have some concerns about the World Enlightenment Forum's most recent research suggesting that at least 25% of the world's female population is far too silly to make any substantial contribution to world peace and prosperity. Perhaps our findings have something to do with ubiquitous commercial television chat shows, (un)reality shows and soap operas, the vast quantities of populist books, poor quality novels, glossy magazines, and ridiculous shoes, as well as inordinate opportunities for misguided shopping.

The lack of acquaintance with consistently courteous and hygienic gentlemen may also be part of the problem, as may the the lack of access to enlightened cultural practices, the lack of knowledge of pressing issues, the lack of clean drinking water, the lack of good global governance, and the lack of awareness of developmental psychology. What are the issues you believe to be the most important to resolve, dear reader?

Global leaders are not just those with the most money, or the most money to manage, or the ability to buy influence. Real global leaders are the people who know how to use money wisely, peacefully and responsibly. A senior decision maker is someone every mature person of at least average intelligence is required to be on a daily basis, even if they do not have dominant or domineering roles in a democratic or non-democratic corporation, institution, sporting team, household or society.

Deliciously Creamy Investigative Journalism

2012-01-31T16:34:00.003+10:30

Should Adelaide Adagia contain cartoons?

Enlightened persons are very well aware that Adelaide Adagia represents and presents the cream of the crop of Australia's investigative journalism. As the editor of the aforementioned esteemed publication, I am well-known for my dislike of unctuous reporters, Tabloidian tittle tattle and distasteful magazines, as are many of my friends and colleagues:

Article One

Article Two

Article Three

Article Four

Article Five

Article Six

Article Seven

The Marquis de Tabloid himself once attempted to interview me as I waited for a bus in Currie Street. He wanted to know if I was on my way to have luncheon with the Maharaja of Yelojurnalismbad. It was such an impertinence! The marquis also asked me for my opinions regarding crime in Adelaide, which is always a sign of something sinister going on. He would never be permitted to gain employment with Adelaide Adagia. Perhaps he is currently working for a gossip magazine.

Most journalism today?

Tabloidian journalists, many employees of unpleasant magazines, and various Tabloidian television presenters, all around the world, frequently have a sadistic approach to interviewing, as you will know if you have ever been contacted by such a creature after being a victim of a crime, an accident, a natural disaster or any other sort of personally unusual occurrence. We, on the other hand, would offer you a cup of tea, a box of tissues, genuine sympathy and plenty of privacy.

All members of the team at Adelaide Adagia are highly trained in the field of deliciously creamy investigative journalism, even though they have a range of unrelated job titles and exploratory duties. Such journalism provides a balance between sensationalist, intrusive excesses, and the dull, pompous, dry, boring, pretentious, monochrome, monotone and elitist extreme at the other end of the presentation spectrum (but not necessarily at the other end of the political spectrum in the 21st century).

This is why Adelaide Adagia, at least on most screens of proper computational machines, is delightfully and deliciously creamy itself rather than garishly yellow. Perhaps you would like to view a brief Mojo introduction to yellow journalism, to ensure you are well informed (though the garishly loud beginning of the video appears to me to be somewhat Tabloidian itself).

A very dear friend of mine is intimately acquainted with the topic of yellow journalism, should you wish to receive some deeper insights. She is usually at her best when keeping silent, as may a large number of presenters and politicians:

An introduction to a group of very talented ladies, including my friend

More about my friend's talents and investigations

Our competitors

The International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence is the global leader in providing the skills required for deliciously creamy investigative journalism. It is very easy to gain some preliminary skills as an enlightened investigator, even in your local area or garden shed. Perhaps you may even have some silent Tasmanian movie footage which could be a piece of something important and very special.

Many persons who have a feeling they have important news or evidence to share with others can often find it difficult to know where to start. Who should you trust with your own important, and possibly special, information, dear reader? Who will take the best care of you and your evidence? Do you live in Australia and even consider yourself to be an enlightened journalist?

Tabloidian average reading level?

The Ethical Journalism Initiative

National Film and Sound Archive, Australia

Migration Museum, South Australia

Commissioner of Victims' Rights, South Australia

Australian Law Reform Commission

Should investigative journalism be entertaining to an audience? Should it be enlightening or even edifying? It should, at least, always be easy to distinguish between deliciously creamy investigative journalism and Tabloidian infotainment.

Are you a quietly investigative citizen-journalist?

Would you like to meet the high-minded inhabitants of the Adelaide Adagia Investigative Unit?

How well informed are you about crime in Australia? Do you consider crime to be any action showing disrespect for the future? Are you familiar with the work of the Australian Institute of Criminology? Have you ever been a whistleblower? Do you always act in the public interest? Perhaps you consider yourself more of a watchdog or a muckraker than a detective. You may even believe that the inadequate standard of democracy today is a consequence of it being marketed in the same way as junk food, news and junk food news.

Now I shall have some deliciously creamy ice cream to go with a few more of the peaches from my tree. I do hope to hear about your own investigations soon.

As Revealed by Informed Sources

2012-01-30T17:08:00.002+10:30

There are so many interesting things I wish to tell you, dear reader. My impeccable sources have revealed so many surprising, and some would say shocking, facts, that I am most eager to enlighten you at the earliest opportunity.

Unfortunately, as usual, there are news embargoes on most of the information I receive so if you are unable to cope with deferred gratification, suspense or suspended sentences, you may wish to direct your immediate inquiries to the following authorities:

South Australian Police

South Australian Attorney-General's Department

Australian Security Intelligence Organisation

Australian Federal Police

Australian National Security Public Information Campaign

The line of my own inquiries usually relates to a very important topic indeed. It is very easy to make a start on completing the important task of creating world peace by seeking out informed sources on the subject. First it requires the ability to identify and respect necessities. Then it is necessary to overcome the unpleasantness prevalence of aggression, narcissism, corruption, indifference, incompetence, impulsiveness and irrationality. After that, we can all sit down with a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake and perhaps even put our feet up for a while.

One of the most important necessities, of course, is to advise others in relation to the possibilities of creating world peace, hence my own preoccupation with the task. Do you have the ability to identify and respect necessities, embargoes, and the associated indicators of world peace, dear reader? Are you aware of any task force regarding the topic, even in your own neighbourhood?

Do you consider your local area to be like this?

Well, the World Enlightenment Forum has been wonderfully successful, unlike the World Economic Forum. As one of the keynote speakers at the former forum, I have been invited to compile the guest list for next year's event, which will take place at the same time in almost the same place.

All suitably experienced copy editors and enlightened media persons may nominate themselves for one of the exceedingly limited news places in 2013. Please ensure you are able to distinguish between Juvenal and a juvenile, and between a Horace story and a horror story, if you wish to attend.

A similarly limited number of protester places will also be available, though please be advised that South Australia in January is not usually suitable for the building of igloos. Unregistered participants, whether topless, naked, or in full snow clothing, may wish to occupy themselves on Maslin Beach at the earliest opportunity as an informal means of expressing interest.

There will also be several student places on offer at next year's World Enlightenment Forum, though as each of these will require significant corporate sponsorship, all students wishing to participate should ensure they are already world class sports persons, box office draw card movie stars, tax avoiding popular music performers, or heirs to major shareholding portfolios.

If you do not fit into any of the above categories, but you would definitely like to attend the 2013 World Enlightenment Forum, do please contact me at the earliest opportunity to...

(The above sentence is suspended until further notice, according to the conditions of the current news embargo.)

Literary Investigations

2012-01-28T18:58:00.008+10:30

Some of the most frequent visitors to my ethereal little villa consider themselves to be literary bloggers in one guise or another. Some are bloggers who write about something they believe to be called literature. Others are bloggers who write their blogs and blog-pamphlets in what they consider to be a literary style.

Most visitors, however, are a diverse assortment of blogging and non-blogging characters who make no claims whatsoever regarding literary merit and only seek information from excellently enlightened literary sources such as my own blog-pamphlets. If you are a blogger, what sort do you consider yourself to be?

As you may be aware, I am a frequent investigator of literature, and attempt to observe it in its various material, verbal, musical, mimetic, semiotic and digital presentations. There are, however, many annoying interruptions and distractions in my daily schedules, meaning that I cannot usually allocate enough time towards the sort of investigations I would prefer. Perhaps you are similarly afflicted.

There are many persons who have written blogs in the past but who have given up writing them after a short time. Then there are those who have been writing blogs for many years as well as those who started their blog writing experiences relatively recently. I am especially interested in blogs written by current residents of Adelaide, not only because Adelaide is where I live but also because I have an interest in local community views of many sorts.

I am also interested in blog collections, some of which are no longer updated. For example, the Adelaide Index is a listing compiled between 2005 and 2008. My own blog-pamphleteering only began in 2009. However, I also maintain some Adelaide blog listings, and they are located in the right hand column of Adelaide Adagia.

For literary blog collections, I have been exploring a few resources today and hope you may find them enlightening. They are listed here as found within Mr Google's establishment under the search heading of literary bloggers:

The Elegant Variation

The best in literature blogs

Really smart literary blogs

Contemporary literature blogs

Literary blogs

Best literature blogs

Literary Minded

Guardian Books blog

Tomorrow, on the final day of the World Enlightenment Forum, I shall be launching a literary report on the future of global impressiveness. Only persons who are familiar with the World Economic Forum's reporting of global competitiveness will be permitted to attend.

Copies of my limited-edition report will be available for only five minutes at the end of the launch, the price being determined by weight per ounce and matched to the spot price of gold at the time of purchase. Methods of payment include Australian dollars in cash or bartering with precious metals.

Another alternative, subject to negotiation, is to sell your literary soul to the highest bidder who happens to be in attendance at the launch. That person will then bargain with me on your behalf. Only ten genuine, authorised copies of the report will be in existence from tomorrow onwards, meaning that the value of the document will probably increase exponentially within five hours of initial availability.

Perhaps you are hoping that the value of your own literary output will increase exponentially quite soon. How do you set a value on your writings? And how do you assess the value of another person's work?

Well, I think I shall attempt to spend a few quiet hours this evening in my library, even though the weather bureau says there is a chance of a thunderstorm. Alternatively, I may make my way to my laboratory.

Beautiful Birthdays and Accurate Interpretations

2012-01-27T09:01:00.001+10:30

Well, the birthday boy has been out and about all around the world again, trying to ensure he spends at least a few moments at each of the parties being held in his honour. He has already eaten more than enough chocolate than is good for him, though he is quite happy at present, clambering around under the lower branches of my Adelaidean peach tree, dribbling juice all over his best ruffled shirt and sounding like Papageno with a padlock on his mouth.

Mr Mozart often likes to be here in Adelaide for his birthday, though he also pops into Mr Twitter's ethereal coffee house from time to time. You may like to catch up with him there today at the #MozartChat table.

Something about Mr Mozart's birthday last year

The cake I made last year

Another Mozarty Party last year

The party celebrations last year were extended

Something about the birthday arrangements for this year

Mr Mozart is very fond of accurate interpretations for his birthday, and at any time of the year. Such interpretations are usually tasteful, and sometimes even more delicious than the peaches from my tree. And Mr Mozart always trusts my own opinions and interpretations, at least as far as refreshments and governments are concerned.

If you feel you cannot trust the persons who supervise your behaviour, Mr Mozart is always happy to offer some assistance to you. He knows the difference between hierarchies and harmonies, supervision and exposition, and a sandwich and a sonata. I also do my best to make such distinctions, as perhaps you do yourself:

How to develop a pleasingly cohesive global society

How to save a fortune

Goals, frank insights and more

Music, tea and politics

You may wish at times that quite a few persons in the media, politics, bureaucracies, academic institutions and the business world would have padlocked mouths more often, to give you a chance to have a prominently influential say, whatever your first language and geographic origins may be. You may also wish there were a few more persons in whom you could more readily trust than the motley assortment currently in charge of a large chunk of your life. Have any of those persons offered you any chunks of fair trade chocolate recently, or anything else as palatable?

Now do excuse me. I need to find 256 candles for the magnificent peach and cream cake I have made. Perhaps Mr Mozart will share some of his birthday cake and a few extra peaches with you after he has been for a swim at one of my local beaches.

The Structure of Real World Leadership Networks

2012-01-26T06:58:00.002+10:30

Structural issues are at the heart of all good leadership thinking. Brilliant design is essential, whether it is for a digital gadget, a musical composition, a physical landscape, a blog-pamphlet, a delicious meal, a google doodle or a global economy.

All structures require a network of resources, capacities and influences. If those structures are to be stable and successful, they will also draw upon the wonderful benefits of openly appropriate communication, cheerfully playful insights, and suitably inspired creativity.

Mr Haydn has something to say about structure

As an ethereal leadership personage of world renown, I am often called upon to offer my opinions on policy possibilities, global risks and ambiguous harmonies. I therefore find it quite amusing that many other persons who wish to contribute to good leadership do not even know the difference between outputs and impacts, just as many persons who seek power in one form or another usually display an inability to distinguish between a structure and a success.

Even the contributors to think tanks, otherwise known as employees of policy institutes, rarely make clear distinctions between one thing and another, as a recent report has shown. Networks of enlightened leadership throughout organisations, and between them, are necessary to expose possible risks and to successfully address those risks before they manifest themselves in unpleasant ways.

Identifying impacts and successes is an art, relying upon intuitive and emotional indications as well as the rational, technical and financial. Identifying structures, trends and risks is a science, relying upon a universally applicable methodology.

Well, you may be wondering why I am mentioning such things on an Australian public holiday. The World Enlightenment Forum is now well underway, of course, and as it is going to be a hot day on the Fleurieu Peninsula, I have, like any sensible leader, made an early start, having already sought out one of the most reliable and informative networks, well before sunrise. Now my carriage and somewhat Houyhnhnmous horses await me, so I must set off on my way.

Music, Tea and Politics

2012-01-25T12:52:00.003+10:30

A great many musicians, economists, entrepreneurs and politicians are gathering for tea in my parlour prior to the ethereal World Enlightenment Forum. Mr Mozart is, of course, in attendance. He hopes his presence will attract the attention of many thoughtful investors, patrons and connoisseurs of such wonderful resources as the arts, good hearing and a lovely cup of fair trade tea.

Here are a few of my previous statements of relevance:

World Enlightenment Forum 2011

Reviews, revenues and rendezvous

Turning back the clock appropriately

The next World Enlightenment Forum

World Enlightenment Outlook

Musicians with integrity, like other performing artists, usually prefer my own invitations to those associated with the World Economic Forum in Davos or nationalistic business interests. Great performance is something I support wholeheartedly, like fair trade tea drinking and fair world rethinking. I do hope a certain knight of a realm agrees with me.

Recordings and amplified live performances of music can often be sharp on the ears. Lord Menuhin of Stoke d'Abernon, for example, stated his views on the aforementioned knight's musicianship as follows:

...In 1976 I received word that one hundred tickets to the Stones' opening performance at Earl's Court were at my disposal to be sold as a benefit for my school. I felt this would be the right time to see what the Stones were like, and I did want to thank them for their gesture. We arrived at Earl's Court behind schedule, when the warm-up groups were finishing. I had already been told a good deal about the atmosphere surrounding the Stones, what kind of people they were. We arrived in great style in the huge black car which had been provided for us, driving right into the garage behind Earl's Court where we joined other cars of like extravagance. Though we were some distance from the hall, I heard what sounded to me like a premonition of hell...

pp. 286-287 Yehudi Menuhin and Curtis W. Davis

The Music of Man, published in Australia by Methuen, 1979

It seems to me, however, that the knight in question expresses views of party politics similar to those expressed by the other musician regarding rock music. The knight has not yet stated his views concerning the Mozarty Party, though I am sure he aspires to be an advocate of world peace, like Lord Menuhin and myself, and many of my party and Party guests.

Music, economics and politics have frequently been discussed as male concerns in the past, as suggested by the title of the work co-authored by the lord whose comments I have quoted above. Like many musicians who found fame and fortune in the 20th century, such as himself and the knight, he was able to attract media attention for causes he espoused, and to encourage others to eschew issues, concerts, concerns and opinions he opposed.

If you are a musician yourself, do you have any opinions regarding world enlightenment, world peace, tea and politics?

Gong with the Winds

2012-01-23T11:54:00.004+10:30

It is always difficult to perform great music whenever the weather is too hot or too cold. In hot weather, a wind serenade and some homemade lemonade are pleasantly refreshing for members of any audience. Even Saint Teresa agrees with me in that regard. She also agrees with me that there is very little difference between the puerile and the virile, both of which are exceedingly distasteful in any weather.

A little Irish or Chinese Chi Kung (Qigong) is also refreshing, especially when Mr Mozart and Monsieur Chopin are providing some assistance. Whether you are Chinese or Irish or Spanish or Australian, you may be aware that Adelaide is not currently experiencing springtime, and nor is Beijing. You may also be aware that in various parts of China, the words gong, kung, keong, kiong and gung may mean the same thing.

It is obviously very sensible to wish prosperity on anyone who may prefer not to live an uncomfortably ascetic existence. Saint Teresa, of course, does not mind wearing leather sandals, plastic flip-flops or rubber thongs, even in the snow, but she considers herself to be an exception to the rules regarding frostbite and sunburn. Are you aware of my previous references to Saint Teresa?

Reference One

Reference Two

My favourite gong is usually the dinner variety. I have been invited to attend a Chinese banquet today, followed by a Chinese opera. I have also been invited to participate in a dragon dance, though I believe it, like a bicycle race and various Beijing operatic arts, to be a rather strenuous activity during a heatwave. Several of my Chinese friends and colleagues agree, as do many dragons and other ethereal beings of my acquaintance.

By-election Enlightenment

2012-01-20T12:33:00.003+10:30

Mr Mozart and the Mozarty Party's South Australian Campaigning Team are currently meeting to discuss a proposed strategy for the two forthcoming by-elections. The seat of Port Adelaide and the seat of Ramsay are currently being contested. The ballots for both are to be held on Saturday 11 February 2012.

Nominations closed yesterday for Port Adelaide candidates, but nominations for Ramsay will close on Mr Mozart's 256th birthday on 27 January. Are you aware of the Mozarty Party's previous campaigning, dear reader?

State Government

South Australian State Election 2010 - reference one

South Australian State Election 2010 - reference two

South Australian State Election 2010 - reference three

Federal Government

Australian Federal Election 2010 - reference one

Australian Federal Election 2010 - reference two

Australian Federal Election 2010 - reference three

Australian Federal Election 2010 - reference four

Local Government

South Australian Local Government Elections 2010 - reference one

South Australian Local Government Elections 2010 - reference two

South Australian Local Government Elections 2010 - reference three

Excellent Policies

News from Mozarty Party Headquarters

If you would like to be the Mozarty Party's candidate for the seat of Ramsay, please be advised that we are currently seeking a heavily pregnant material lady for the position, bearing in mind that the seat in question is very safe for Labor. We therefore prefer to call the seat Birthing Stool rather than Ramsay.

We had only one nominee for the seat of Port Adelaide, an ethereal personage by the name of James Bell. Unfortunately, he already appears to be too much like a typically unenlightened politician, rather than a suitable spokesperson for the Mozarty Party.

Mr Bell's attention is frequently focused on what he regards as other people's faults rather than their better qualities. This perhaps makes him an excellent, high-profile candidate in terms of possible media interest, but not necessarily for leading us towards the establishment of a better society.

Here are just a few references to Mr Bell's previous activities and observations:

Reference one

Reference two

Reference three

Reference four

Reference five

Reference six

If you consider yourself to be a good observer of society, a person with an interest in future generations, and someone devoted to improving the quality of life of all Adelaideans, with or without their approval, do consider nominating yourself for the seat of Birthing Stool. Previous experiences of sea sickness or morning sickness could perhaps be an advantage.

Nobility and No Bull Causes

2012-01-19T07:21:00.003+10:30

Enlightened nobility in the 21st century is only possible in free, fair and open societies. Such nobility requires high-minded moral and scientific principles in order to pursue and achieve the highest possible standards of excellence, generosity and tolerance. This can only occur through consistent magnanimity, the equitable sharing of knowledge and the maintenance of stable financial markets.

However lofty you may consider my own words to be, do bear in mind that bulls and bullies are unlikely to be found within my little Adelaidean villa, whatever the market trend will be in the year ahead. The Australian economy will rely on courtesy, reliability, trustworthiness and clear communication if it is to weather the global economic storms, international legislative and diplomatic obstacles, and various examples of domineering unpleasantness. Yet there is nothing new about the challenges ahead.

Unfairly privileged persons must display more enlightened nobility than they have in the past, whatever their national origins or current location. The same applies to persons of ordinary social and economic standing, including those with aristocratic or proletarian ancestors. There is no place in the 21st century for any form of interpersonal disrespect, anywhere in the world.

Noble minds always prefer to invest in the causes of stability, peace and tranquility rather than supporting unsustainable economic growth, unpleasant financial downturns, piracy, plagiarism, populism, elitism or an emotive sense of entitlement. Stability requires an understanding of limitations, needs, challenges and possibilities.

Unenlightened persons never truly invest, and rarely possess nobility. As such persons are inclined to speculate and manipulate, they fail to see that there is no nobility in bossiness, aggressiveness, coarseness, arrogance, insensitivity, brashness, abusiveness, rudeness, boorishness, greed, vulgarity, excessively loud motors and excessively loud music.

Speculation and manipulation are particularly devoid of nobility in a bull market or a ghost city. Perhaps there will be some interesting times ahead.

Immortal Words

2012-01-13T08:14:00.004+10:30

Unlike their ethereal counterparts, material skyscrapers are never enlightened constructions. The Etruscans probably never heeded that warning, hence the demise of their civilization, and their language. Nothing unenlightened can last forever.

Whether you consider my words to be mortal or immortal, or enlightened or unenlightened, is quite irrelevant. My words may, in reality, just be a symbolic cultural expression of one person's consciousness at a particular moment in time. Perhaps you may even consider my blog-pamphlet postings to be profound, timeless works of literary perfection and multi-level meaning, but that is beside the point when reflecting upon your own enlightenment. Always remember the Etruscans, and the global economy.

Enlightened self-interest is far better than any unenlightened pursuit, an example of the latter being trivial debate. How do you distinguish between the trivial and the significant, dear reader? And how do you distinguish between the mortal and the immortal?

Dancing in an Etruscan tomb

The correlation between ever-higher skyscraper construction and economic collapse is quite evident even in Adelaide. The tallest building in Adelaide was constructed in 1988 for the State Bank of South Australia. I am not sure if its design was inspired by the Etruscans or even by the tower-building Trojans.

Imposing examples of architecture are frequently perceived to be in the public domain in one way or another, as are the pictures contained within Wikimedia Commons. The same can often be said of the immortal words to be found within Wikiquote, as my dear friend Christopher Marlowe frequently reminds me.

It is important for all persons to acknowledge the folly of building or purchasing an overly tall, overly large, or overly expensive structure, whether architectural, political or commercial. This also applies when launching a thousand ships on borrowed funds, under flags of convenience, or on the advice of a large committee. And new topless towers of Ilium should never be built in bushfire zones, except for observational purposes.

Should you dance on the grave of anyone whose immortal words may one day bite you?

Goals, Frank Insights and More

2012-01-07T22:46:00.003+10:30

Being one of the world's most well-known ethereal CEOs means that I am usually involved in shaping innovative agendas. This can be quite a challenge when several important events happen to coincide. I discussed this matter with my afternoon tea guests yesterday over wholemeal cheese and tomato sandwiches and homemade Australian farmhouse fruitcake.

I am very fond of well-run Australian farms, especially those within a couple of hours camel ride of Adelaide. My guests took several detours on their journey from Melbourne to visit the stables on various farms en route, and to partake of the local agricultural produce. Fortunately, they arrived here on time, meaning that I can now concentrate on my goals for later this month, rather than wait around for tardy guests.

The gentlemen and their entourage in the Adelaide Hills

Although I have enough to think about at present, as Mr Mozart's birthday this year will be happening at the same time as the Chinese New Year, the World Economic Forum and the World Enlightenment Forum, my guests were particularly keen to hear my views regarding hedge funds, trading in futures and the spot price of various commodities. Like many of my more enlightened visitors, they are familiar with many of my previous blog-pamphlet postings. Here are a few exceedingly relevant examples for your own perusal, dear reader:

August 2010 - An age old issue

August 2010 - Musical silver snuff boxes and good economic policies

August 2010 - A super vision

November 2010 - An enlightened economy

September 2011 - Infusions and confusions

October 2011 - A lovely place in history

January 2012 - Retrospectives and reassessments

Whatever the age of a person, I believe that it is important to be well prepared for the future. This involves creating a significant and diversified asset base of some sort. It should include a plentiful supply of commodity money, a reasonable quantity of high quality aromatic resin, and some suitably stored essential oils. Such an investment strategy is especially useful if the person is subsequently forced to flee from political persecution or a failing sovereign state.

Having something of value to exchange is always useful, especially if a hedge fund loses your pension. It is also important to learn to grow your own organic tomatoes and have a surplus to sell, particularly if the price of tea, bread, cheese and the ingredients of a fruit cake become as unaffordable to many people as a house in Australia.

Here are some other resources you may find of value:

Are you interested in purchasing a camel?

Do you know how to protect your agricultural and other assets?

Have you properly researched your future dining options?

What is your greatest treasure?

Who should cut the hedge?

How much should you pay for a loaf of bread?

I am very fortunate that many ethereal persons are willing to pay a premium for my services. They trust my frank insights and my ability to assist them in reaching their goals. If material persons are willing to do the same, who could ask for anything more?

Policies, Epiphanies and Several More Predictions

2012-01-06T09:36:00.000+10:30

Throughout 2012, there will be quite a few demonstrations against a varied assortment of perceived injustices. Most of those demonstrations will not appear on any news service, except an enlightened one. There will also be a remarkable number of demonstrations of love, respect and honesty, many of which will also be ignored by the mainstream media.

Here is an example of a recent demonstration of respect. Fortunately, at least one media service noted its significance. The musicians in question decided to change their usual policy, as the example might suggest. But how do you predict what a policy might be in the future, and whether a current policy should stay the same or change?

Here is another example of a demonstration. It does not appear to have involved any policies at all, except for the desire to surprise the public, but does suggest it required a great deal of planning and practice prior to being performed. Politicians and terrorists also have a tendency to surprise the public, though not usually in a loving, respectful and honest way.

Many of us like our daily experiences to be fairly predictable. I, for example, have a meeting booked for 3 o'clock this afternoon with three gentlemen from Melbourne who plan to arrive here on camels. I have heard that the gentlemen are very wise and exceedingly fond of epiphanies and afternoon teas. Do you enjoy epiphanies and afternoon teas, dear reader?

I am sure that you enjoy good policies, even if you have a variety of other beliefs, especially about dromedaries. How do you identify a good policy? Should a good policy have predictable outcomes? Should it be based on epiphanies of one sort or another, on enlightened analysis, or just on the accumulation of dry and meaningless research data?

Here are some delightful Australian sources of data and analysis:

The Conversation

Hawke Research Institute

Melbourne Institute

Australian Housing and Urban Research Institute

National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling

Australian Institute for Family Studies

Australian Bureau of Statistics

Well, I must go now. I have been asked to investigate the whereabouts of some gentlemen who set off from Melbourne on camels quite some time ago. Hopefully, the persons I expect for tea this afternoon have prepared better for their own unpredictable journey.

The Art of Sustainably Predictable Peace and Prosperity

2012-01-04T16:12:00.006+10:30

At this time of year, I am always inundated with requests for my opinions and predictions regarding the twelve months to follow. Well, I am able to predict that large numbers of enlightened Australians will go to Paris this year to visit the Louvre.

Unlike most prediction pundits, whether of the journalist, economist, Pythia or warlock sort, I know that people will, statistically, continue to do what they usually enjoy doing unless prevented from doing so. The prevention of enjoyable behaviours takes many forms, most of which have only a temporary effect. Most people will go back to what they like doing whenever measures of prevention are inadequate, whether of the educational, legislative, economic, moral, political, medical, emotional, commercial, seismic, meteorological, or administrative varieties.

Healthy people like having freedom. They like being around people they like, trust and respect. They like having enough money for the simple comforts of life. They like having at least one pleasant option amongst a variety of choices. They like to be supported, cared for and comforted whenever they become unhealthy, injured or otherwise distressed. This applies regardless of whether a person is quite an ordinary mortal, or a member of the global financial aristocracy, or even a non-ethereal CEO.

This year, I predict that one of my colleagues will play a greater role in the global economy. He may even assist many ordinary mortals as they protect and enhance their constitutional and human rights in the face of various financial aristocrats, tyrannical dictators and ideological psychopaths. Unfortunately, I am unable to predict that the constitution of every country will be decided by the people as a whole, and not by a small group who claim to have a mandate to do as they wish.

I am able to predict that Australia will be a better place to live than Hungary, Senegal, and most other countries for some time to come. I am also able to predict that life for many people will be difficult in relatively undemocratic countries, such as Greece, Italy, Iran, North Korea, the United Kingdom and the United States of America.

Constitutions are very important documents, as the British would be wise to note. The federalist Germans and the federalist Australians know that the same procedures as every year must always be the ones of artistic and constitutional merit.

Unitary France will greatly benefit from the presence of Australians in Paris, even during the Olympics in London, though my own previous experiences in Paris lead me to predict that Australians will at last respect the true City of Light. Most Australians believe that a good cup of tea and the ability to communicate in English are crucial factors in the ability to enjoy anything.

The arts will be very important in the future, just as they have been in the past. The arts are important across the lifespan, whatever the usual behaviour, age or nationality of a person might be, even if that person is Sir Les Patterson or Freddy Frinton.

In the year ahead, enlightened Australians will continue to place their spare cash in the safety of a reputable and relatively rewarding term deposit account, rather than in other, more speculative investment options, even if interest rates decline further. A sensible approach to saving is one of the reasons why such Australians will be able to afford their trips to Paris, a second reason being the continuing decline of the euro against our dollar, of course.

There will also be quite a few unenlightened Australians in Paris this year. They will pay for their trips with credit cards, loans from their mothers, superannuation payouts, redundancy payouts, and through the possible sale of their overpriced investment properties. Perhaps they will even take a tour of the diplomatic world aboard a bus driven by Sir Les Patterson's twin brother. Are you looking for a bus driver who knows a great deal about negative gearing, crunching gears, wearing 1970s gear, and finding artistic pictures of naked ladies in the Louvre?

I predict that quite a few persons in good mental health will be able to give up smoking without the use of drugs. I also predict that quite a few adults in good mental health will be able to enhance their physical health by eating and drinking in a more enlightened way, enjoying glasses of water, cups of tea and walks in the park. I might even predict that parents in good mental health and with good literacy skills will assist the healthy development of their children more easily this year. I will also predict that several members of the financial aristocracy will profit from the poor mental health of others.

Enlightened adult Australians will continue to improve their own literacy and life skills in the year ahead. You may wish to do so yourself, dear reader, by visiting my own lovely library. If you are already comparatively enlightened, you may even wish to improve your emotional intelligence and moral reasoning. Such improvements are not just personal, of course. They will also improve societies, economies, and the possibility of creating world peace in the not-too-distance future.

Energy and Enlightenment

2012-01-03T19:01:00.001+10:30

Just like most enlightened persons, I am often quite fond of energy, especially whilst attempting to make a lovely cup of tea. I am sure the Essential Services Commission of South Australia and the Australian Energy Regulator are doing their best to ensure my cups of tea will always be made with freshly boiled water. But will ETSA? And will the Australian media?

It appears that South Australia's mains electricity supply had a Qantas moment yesterday. In the name of safety, without notice, a considerable number of persons to the south of Adelaide had their electricity supply switched off in the middle of a heatwave. Cutting off electricity in extreme bushfire weather should perhaps be treated as an emergency and managed as such.

I do hope there will be electricity available south of Adelaide from 25 to 29 January 2012 for the next World Enlightenment Forum. I am quite concerned, particularly as there does not appear to be an ETSA account on twitter. However, my own very busy current schedule has required me to delegate the investigation of that matter to one of our trainee copy editors. Perhaps you are able to advise me, dear reader.

Retrospectives and Reassessments

2012-01-02T09:35:00.013+10:30

Today is a very busy day for enlightened persons of some distinction, all around the world. This is the day we reassess our plans for the future, re-examine the past, and celebrate our achievements. Perhaps you use 2 January each year to reflect upon your lifestyle and how you wish to improve it, and your life in general.

If you are a person with responsibilities for managing the activities of an institution of some renown, you may also spend today in a similar way to myself. I start each new year in the 21st century with a retrospective exhibition of my work. The exhibition is usually only open to an exclusive group of eminent ethereal persons but this year I shall make an exception. You are therefore invited to attend.

I shall begin by showing a picture of the recent Mozarty New Year Enlightenment Party, which, of course, was officially held in my music room. As you can see, several guests thought the occasion to be quite suitable for dancing, so I decided to open my studio pavilion for that purpose.

My decision also meant that the more valuable items in my music room were kept discretely out of the reach of the less dignified guests and members of staff, many of whom tend to suffer the unfortunate effects of inebriation during parties, one of which is inappropriate dancing.

As the picture suggests, these guests arrived in a state of intoxication in my little villa at around 7.30pm on New Year's Eve. I therefore directed them down the garden path immediately upon their arrival so that they would not be a nuisance in the music room.

After dark, many of those persons wandered off to the banks of the River Torrens, where they continued to dance whilst awaiting the ethereal public fireworks display at the beginning of 2012. Mr Handel, of course, used a licensed pyrotechnical expert to assist with the special effects for his musical performance down by the river. However, the outcome was not as expected. Perhaps the same expert was involved with an event in Melbourne.

I, of course, have very little interest in fireworks and other such trivial and noisy amusements, finding them to be nothing more than annoyances. Great art always lasts for much longer than a little bit of banging, and is far more pleasurable.

Truly enlightened persons and most forms of animal life agree with me, and I am usually on the same side as the animals. They are often much wiser and more talented than a great many people.

An Adelaidean retrospective is also wise at this time of year. For a retrospective of my own Adelaidean work, you may wish to begin here. Are you familiar with Adelaide yourself? Do you like drinking tea in Adelaide, or anywhere else in the world?

Well, I have quite a busy schedule ahead of me. On 6 January, for example, I shall be meeting three gentlemen who are seeking my opinions regarding hedge funds, trading in futures and the spot price of various commodities. Perhaps you are acquainted with those gentlemen. I have been told they are brothers and have a fondness for astronomy, investments, and travelling about on camels. They are Professor G. Wiseman, Doctor F. Wiseman and Sir M. Wiseman.

The Timelessness of Twaklin

2011-12-23T14:20:00.002+10:30

Many of my tasks in the material world are now complete. I am very pleased with the metaphysical essence of my digital engagement with mortal persons, even those most unfortunate ones who...
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Deep and Crisp and Even

2011-12-22T17:54:00.003+10:30

Oh, it is wonderful! My pavlova is baked to perfection. It is cooling in the oven now and I am very happy with it, as you can imagine. Unfortunately, Mr Mozart will not be here to...
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So Many Responsibilities

2011-12-21T12:33:00.004+10:30

A person in my position has a great many local and global responsibilities. My list of duties is almost as long as that of many ministers in South Australia's government and the refreshed federal cabinet. As this may indicate, I...
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Resting In Peace

2011-12-20T12:18:00.022+10:30

Whether a person is currently material or ethereal, all of us should have the right to rest in peace, whether in our daily lives today, or afterwards, in the unknown future. You may often...
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The State of Things

2011-12-19T09:18:00.002+10:30

It is very difficult to run a state, of whatever geographic or demographic dimensions. This especially applies if the...
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Contrarian Variations

2011-12-18T15:38:00.010+10:30

Is it your birthday soon? If so, you may like to vary the occasion from the usual sort of celebrations (with the assistance of Mr Harry Amon and Mr Leonid Hambro). I know you are probably rather busy trying to arrange a pleasant time with a few friends and family members, but do you have another minute or so to spare (or even just 30 seconds) for Mr Hambro and a friend of his, Mr Victor Borge?

You may consider me to be...
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Naturally Harmonious

2011-12-16T14:35:00.007+10:30

The Adelaide Adagia research team is pleased to announce that all its members are now harmoniously and leisurely enjoying an ethereal lunchtime picnic in the naturally refreshing Adelaide Botanic Garden. I joined them there for...
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A Classically Equitable Future

2011-12-15T11:53:00.003+10:30

A calm, orderly yet magnificent way of life is possible in the years ahead for anyone wishing to participate in its achievement. Such a way of life begins with...
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The Most Beautiful Pursuit

2011-12-14T15:32:00.009+10:30

This is a very important time in the material world. You, dear reader, are on the cusp of the future. Whatever you choose...
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An Astonishing Analysis

2011-12-12T14:53:00.012+10:30

It is very important to be aware that the mass media do not constitute the public sphere, at least in an enlightened democracy. In any large, influential institution there are...
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Archival Awareness

2011-12-09T18:47:00.001+10:30

When I first introduced myself to the people of Adelaide, in 2009, I attempted to behave just like a normal, ordinary, material personage in...
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Poor Queen Adelaide

2011-12-08T09:59:00.007+10:30

It is very difficult being an investigative reporter, as Queen Adelaide knows from her own extensive experiences. Not only is she unfortunate...
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Re-Enlightenment

2011-12-07T09:51:00.002+10:30

I always like to discover other persons who are involved in promoting, supporting, leading and celebrating the 21st century Enlightenment. What do you believe it means to...
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Truly Objective Twaklin

2011-12-06T13:08:00.004+10:30

As an enlightened, ethereal personage, it is much easier for me to be objective when exploring scientific, artistic and journalistic issues than it is for mere mortals. Sometimes I find it objectionable when...
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The Mozart 220 Commemorations

2011-12-01T16:13:00.029+10:30

You may already have heard something about the most important news of the day, namely regarding an exceedingly dignified event in my short-term schedule. Preparations are well underway for my ceremonial duties...
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A Good Economy for a Lovely Place to Live

2011-11-30T06:09:00.018+10:30

A lovely place to live does not just happen. It requires co-operative ingenuity, a great deal of observation, trial and error, experimentation, learning, memory, teaching, and good leadership if we are to develop and implement...
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Affectionate and Appreciative Recipients of Gifts

2011-11-29T12:47:00.004+10:30

Whenever I have had an exceptionally busy or difficult few days, I like to relax on my own for a while with a cup of tea, either on...
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The Best Australian Awards Award

2011-11-28T12:52:00.006+10:30

Australians are awarded international prizes on a reasonably frequent basis. They also award themselves awards to a rather excessive extent, if the Walkleys and the ARIAs are any indication. Excellence should always...
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The Finest and Most Enlightened Australian News Service

2011-11-27T17:34:00.002+10:30

As you are probably aware, dear gentle reader, one of my many important duties involves the editorial supervision of the Adelaide Adagia news service. I am sure...
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The Genuine Article

2011-11-26T18:47:00.006+10:30

As an enlightened being, I am never impressed by glossy superficiality, inappropriate reproductions, ridiculous remakes, unfortunate...
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Many Discerning Audience Members

2011-11-23T11:22:00.009+10:30

Respect for one's paying audience is the first rule of any self-respecting artist, especially an artist who sometimes desires a good dinner. Earning a living through one's art should never be taken for granted. Nor should...
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Nothing Automatic

2011-11-22T06:50:00.002+10:30

As one of the world's most creative institutions, nothing of any ethereal importance is ever automatic at the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence. All our material and digital communicative inputs...
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Off With Their Conveyor Belts

2011-11-21T15:52:00.008+10:30

Persons of the 18th century Enlightenment, and its 21st century enhanced version, should not be blamed for a hideously misunderstood invention, namely the conveyor belt. If you have been required to...
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Unfortunate States of Absurdity

2011-11-19T11:06:00.012+10:30

Whether you are familiar with the opinions expressed by Monsieur Camus, Mr Magoo, or a White-tailed gnu, I am sure you have something to say on the topic of absurdity. One of the most absurd situations in the world is...
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Suitably Scientific Twaklin

2011-11-18T06:09:00.002+10:30

Whilst looking at your glowing computational screen, dear reader, you may often be quite charmed by its luminous efficacy. You may appreciate...
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A Parlour Meant for Peace

2011-11-17T09:12:00.008+10:30

As you may be aware, dear reader, I am often envisaged as the personification of metropolitan Adelaide. I am a slim yet shapely lady, elegantly gracing...
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For the Good of Society

2011-11-15T07:29:00.002+10:30

Cleaning up corruption and creating world peace are important tasks for any suitably informed citizen. Such citizens know that freedom of the press is not the same as good journalism, change is not the same as...
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Universally Appropriate Proportions

2011-11-14T16:23:00.005+10:30

The leaders of the Australian Political Reform Club have asked me to take over their task during the current crisis of the global economy. Enlightened leadership is frequently lacking in the world today, hence...
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An Introduction to Timeless Wisdom

2011-11-11T12:41:00.008+10:30

There have been many interesting conversations in the hallway of my little villa recently, one of the most important of which has been on the topic of sovereignty. Queen Adelaide and Professor Erasmus have been the most notable contributors to...
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Sound Advice

2011-11-08T14:55:00.003+10:30

In the composition of an opera, the music is always of primary importance. In the performance of an opera, the voices of the singers are of primary importance. If anything else is given...
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The Floating Timeline of Twaklin

2011-11-04T17:03:00.004+10:30

One of my many beautiful duties is to assist anyone who suffers from an unfortunate excess of unnecessary misery. Admirable composure, like the composition of a great opera, requires a certain poise and inner stability within one's floating timeline. It is why...
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Something Especially Uplifting

2011-11-01T19:40:00.003+10:30

Industrial relations in Australia, as elsewhere, may often be observed as a comic farce, at least by persons who are not aware of any...
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A Well-Mannered Man

2011-10-29T09:29:00.004+10:30

All persons associated with the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence are amongst the most well-mannered leaders of the 21st century Enlightenment. Most have spent many years perfecting...
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See Duly a Galliard

2011-10-28T06:55:00.010+10:30

Being a graceful and grateful sort of being, I frequently enjoy my presence in the ethereal and digital worlds of the 21st century in many beautiful ways. Today, I shall be dancing. Would you like to accompany me? Do you have a passion for...
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Credulity, Credit and Credibility

2011-10-27T12:16:00.005+10:30

Real life for many enlightened beings in the material world involves such creatively productive activities as cooking, sewing and gardening. An enlightened real life includes making and doing many useful, delicious and beautiful things for...
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A Lovely Place in History

2011-10-26T07:03:00.009+10:30

It is very reassuring to know that one has already been allocated a lovely place in history. Mine is very much like my ethereal little Adelaidean villa, a pleasantly...
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Reliable Sources

2011-10-25T17:57:00.006+10:30

As the editor of Australia's most enlightened news service, it is my duty to ensure that all contributions of information are adequately consensual, suitably informed and delightfully reliable. My staff and I always take great care of our sources. We provide...
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Maid in Australia

2011-10-24T12:18:00.006+10:30

If you are a regular reader of this blog-pamphlet, you will already know something about my difficulties in finding suitable domestic and political servants. You will also know...
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A Fair and Balanced Audience

2011-10-22T11:53:00.003+10:30

It is always difficult to find the right balance between being too stuffy and being too obsessed with the myths of informality. Stuffiness can lead to one being considered...
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Annual Gentle Meeting

2011-10-20T13:06:00.006+10:30

The International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence will be holding its Annual Gentle Meeting tomorrow...
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Singing About Australia's National Broadband Network

2011-10-19T09:02:00.001+10:30

How delightful! Australia's yet-to-be-achieved technologically advanced National Broadband Network will make it so much easier to present...
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How to Save a Fortune

2011-10-18T12:35:00.003+10:30

It is always important to remember that being clever should never be confused with being convincing. There are many ignorant and selfish people who make convincing arguments, especially when those individuals appear to have...
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Adelaide in the Universe

2011-10-17T09:26:00.003+10:30

It is always important for enlightened beings to be aware of where - and how - they live in the larger scheme of things. There is probably no larger scheme of material things than the universe, especially for...
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Suitably Elegant Sufficiency

2011-10-15T12:28:00.001+10:30

It is always important to remember that logical conclusions often ultimately lead to ridiculous consequences whenever...

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Enlightened and Healthy Opinions

2011-10-14T15:26:00.006+10:30

Nutrition and hygiene are essential habits to maintain in the 21st century, wherever we might find ourselves. I have observed, however, that many seemingly affluent persons are sometimes...

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An Exceedingly Mysterious Consortium

2011-10-11T13:26:00.008+10:30

There has been complete silence next door to my little villa for some time now. The...

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Variable Investigations of Unpleasantness

2011-10-10T07:38:00.012+10:30

There are many very silly people in the world who appear to lack even the slightest ability to distinguish between meteorology and climatology. They may not even know how to identify...

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Astronomical Examinations, Ancient Adventures and a Sense of Place

2011-10-09T06:47:00.001+10:30

Being in Adelaide is often conducive to a creative exploration of the meaning of life, the universe and enlightenment. How do you gain an understanding of...

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Understanding the Material World

2011-10-08T18:01:00.006+10:30

It has been another beautiful day in Adelaide. I have managed to do three large loads of washing with the assistance of my electrical laundry machine and have now placed them outside to adorn...

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How to be a Visionary and Creative Genius

2011-10-07T15:53:00.007+10:30

Being an innovative CEO is always difficult. Such a CEO is a rare being, as most CEOs have no creative abilities whatsoever. To be innovative as a CEO is never enough however.

Creativity without entrepreneurship is empty when there are investors waiting for...

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Useful, Beautiful and Necessarily Difficult

2011-10-06T11:20:00.015+10:30

One of the most interesting facets of the recent Australian tax forum in Canberra has been the response of journalists, many of whom have been quite at a loss about what to say or do. Usually, Australia's political journalists just...

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Australian Political Reform Club Tax Forum

2011-10-05T12:25:00.017+10:30

Readers of this blog-pamphlet will be aware that financial matters are of frequent concern in the ethereal world. Whether I am counting jelly beans, drinking tea or dancing to a glass armonica, I know that...

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Interconnections and a Suitably Gentle Form of Journalism

2011-10-04T15:10:00.009+10:30

I have been extremely busy over the past few days, with a picnic yesterday on Kangaroo Island, an important afternoon tea on Sunday in Adelaide, and a great deal of...

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Glorious Explorations

2011-10-02T13:28:00.004+10:30

Knowledge should never be a competitive pursuit. In the 21st century, a large amount of knowledge is available for little cost at all, and is accessible to all sorts of personages, including...

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Latitudes and Attitudes

2011-10-01T06:47:00.004+09:30

Although longitudes and altitudes are amongst my many interests, I am more especially interested in...

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A Delightfully Open Purpose

2011-09-30T06:31:00.004+09:30

A sense of purpose is quite a useful motivation, especially if that sense of purpose is...

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Understanding the Twenty-First Century Enlightenment

2011-09-29T10:39:00.003+09:30

Enlightenment, in both its intellectual and spiritual forms, is based on overcoming chaos, ignorance and tyranny by fair and peaceful means. I have written extensively on the subject of...

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Enlightened Policies

2011-09-28T13:38:00.008+09:30

Preparing the Mozarty Party's Magnificent Global Manifesto is a time consuming process. Our democratic principles mean that we are attempting to gain as many useful opinions and contributions as possible prior to full publication.

So, where can useful opinions and contributions be found? What is...

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The Celebration of Flowers

2011-09-25T07:19:00.007+09:30

My very dear friend, Baron de Montesquieu, has again been assisting with the spring cleaning here in my little Adelaidean villa. He is a wonderful conversationalist but not particularly inspiring as a singer. He is an excellent...

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World Enlightenment Outlook

2011-09-22T07:18:00.003+09:30

Now that the International Monetary Fund has giving its latest World Economic Outlook, I am able to respond with my own overview of the global situation. Are you sitting comfortably?

Firstly, it is important to remember that too much growth is unhealthy, whether it is derived from the excessive consumption of an overly rich diet or is like...

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Realists and Removalists

2011-09-20T18:28:00.004+09:30

There has been a great deal of noise and activity in my neighbourhood today, with a stream of removalist trucks coming and going, and such a clatter and clamour as I have never heard before. A personage by the name of...

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A Winner in the Wind

2011-09-17T12:01:00.001+09:30

It is very windy in Adelaide today, and rather warm for the time of year. The house next door to my own has just been sold for a record price, I believe, though the mystery buyer bought it as a job lot with the household contents and the art collection. The final bid was for...

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Cause for Celebration

2011-09-15T17:08:00.010+09:30

One of the most important causes I support is the cause for celebration. You may like to celebrate with me today as I write this, the 300th blog-pamphlet posting of Adelaide Zone Twaklin.

At present, I am also preparing for a most important celebration indeed, namely...

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Around the World in Ethereal Ways

2011-09-14T13:34:00.006+09:30

My most urgent task over the next few days, apart from attending the auction of the house next door, is to improve the global economy in the fairest way possible. I have decided to do so from the point of view of...

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New Species Found

2011-09-13T16:54:00.002+09:30

Eddie

Eddie, one of my assistants, is currently examining a very important topic with a view to formulating a series of lectures likely to be of great interest to many members of the global public, as well as the world's media. A new species has just been found in Australia by one of our most intrepid teams of researchers. The species has provisionally been named Bona fide australis though there are a great many uncertainties regarding its biological classification.

The species appears to be of a zoological nature. Its habits are yet to be determined and its habitat is yet to be examined with any scientific precision. The species appears to...

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Infusions and Confusions

2011-09-12T10:05:00.008+09:30

It is always important to be able to distinguish between the genuine and the fake, especially in a parlour. It is easy for most people to tell the difference between proper tea and...

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A Simulacrum on the Carpet

2011-09-10T04:57:00.014+09:30

It has recently come to my attention that the esteemed institution for which I am CEO is the last remaining independent repository of the world's cultural excellence. We provide...

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Great Aunt Twaklin Advises

2011-09-09T05:49:00.003+09:30

Nepotism is exceedingly annoying, especially when one's own great, great, grand, etc. nephews and nieces believe...

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Polling Australia's Most Creative Minds

2011-09-08T10:37:00.004+09:30

You may have heard a few whispers about what is likely to be the most important news story of the year. Rumour has it that the findings of a scientifically valid poll of an entirely random selection of Australia's most creative minds are about to be released.

To put any rumours to rest, I have an important announcement to make. As the sponsor of the poll, I shall be...

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Twaklinology and Apology

2011-09-07T05:26:00.001+09:30

Frivolous? Cute? Moi? How dare they! The British Broadcasting Corporation's editors should know better than to allow the disparagement of my good name. I have not been described as cute for almost 250 years. It is an outrage. I shall be taking up the matter with my eminent legal advisers in due course, of course.

If you are wondering why I am all of a fluster today, dear reader, do consider how you would feel if your worthy and distinguished given name was considered frivolous. Would I be considered so if I was...

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A Peace of Art

2011-09-06T07:07:00.002+09:30

Although the world in which you live may choose to celebrate World Peace Day on 21 September each year, dear reader - in an attempt to cease violence temporarily - my ethereal friends and I usually take the view that it is better to contribute to perpetual peace in the material world and eternal peace in the ethereal one. Temporal and temporary considerations may be most suitable for...

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To Buy or Not to Buy

2011-09-05T12:48:00.004+09:30

I am seeking your advice, dear reader. Should I, or should I not, buy the house next door? It has five bathrooms and eight bedrooms, one small kitchen and a digital home theatre. There is also...

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Political Elegance and Political Relevance

2011-09-04T16:11:00.002+09:30

Just as spinning was a common occupation in pre-industrial economies, it has become so again in post-industrial ones. I do hope political spin has not yet...

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Beautiful Developments

2011-09-03T13:36:00.005+09:30

There is a clearly defined distinction between an Australian villa, an Australian palace, and an Australian affordable dwelling, at least amongst the most enlightened of beings. A villa is...

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A Suitably Stylish Manner

2011-09-01T09:16:00.004+09:30

Stylishness is often a matter of varied opinion. My own view is that it is not possible to be suitably stylish unless one is at least twenty eight years of age. Younger persons are usually...

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A Proper Guide to Property and Proper Tea

2011-08-31T06:42:00.000+09:30

Dr Piscopia, my principal private secretary, has informed me that one of her distant relatives, Caterina Cornaro, is keen to purchase my Venetian property for an excellent price. It is an offer I cannot refuse, unless...

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Tortoise Economies and other Leisurely Pursuits

2011-08-30T13:15:00.009+09:30

Monsieur Saint-Saëns and I have been sitting in my garden over luncheon, discussing tortoise economies, household management, and the qualities of a perfect sales pitch. He was most amused to hear of...

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On the Market

2011-08-29T12:12:00.008+09:30

It has just come to my attention that there will be an open inspection of the house next door on Saturday. The asking price for the property is somewhere in the region of...

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How to Develop a Pleasingly Cohesive Global Society

2011-08-26T11:43:00.003+09:30

Many members of the Mozarty Party are currently campaigning far and wide to ensure the development of a pleasingly cohesive global society. We know how each person over the age of twenty eight can achieve his or her true potential, either in...

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Changing the Notepaper and Changing the World

2011-08-25T13:40:00.003+09:30

What beautiful weather we are having in Adelaide today! I have spent much of the day sitting in the sunshine in my north-facing antipodean boudoir, thinking about the power and influence of...

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Suitably Elegant Frugality

2011-08-24T06:16:00.005+09:30

One of the most beautiful of human expressions is the art of suitably elegant frugality. Being frugal can take many forms, some of which are not particularly pleasant, yet there is no reason for frugality to be so.

My own work is always an aesthetic example of frugality, rather than an ascetic one. It incorporates...

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Social Structure and Status in Australia and the World

2011-08-23T12:21:00.011+09:30

Social class is such a vulgar term. It relates purely to the stratification of material wealth, and what it can buy, yet gives no recognition at all to ethereal qualities, or the lack of them. Many Australians consider themselves to be middle class personages, even though most Australians are...
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Tense Cities Sips and All That

2011-08-22T14:15:00.008+09:30

Guiding suitably civilized behaviour is quite simple once the acceptable language and appropriately allocated responsibilities are made clear. The South Australian Police have kindly provided several suggestions on ways to keep oneself relaxed, safe and informed, whether in a crowd or whilst attempting to spend a few peaceful hours alone. Henrietta Elizabeth Marshall has done likewise, though somewhat inaccurately.

I am concerned that the police officers' suggestions, and those of Mrs Marshall, only assist in the prevention of crimes by making disruptive social effects more of a challenge for criminally-inclined creatures. Such suggestions do not...
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