Tuesday, 29 January 2019

A Vast Archive of Enlightenment

You appear to be here to experience the Twaklinesque art of enlightened cultural leadership, as studied and displayed through the highly advanced, inclusive but not necessarily intrusive, Dadaesque but never grotesque, serendipitous science of Twaklinology.

There is a vast archive of enlightenment here to assist you, if you are suitably scholarly and pleasantly courteous.

The technicalities of Twaklinology have been carefully inscribed and transcribed in exquisite detail in this science studio not only by myself but also by my numerous and numinous scientific assistants. 

The international standards implemented and maintained from this location obviously reflect the exacting specifications of felicitously literary, Twaklinist prose.  Non-technical communication is always philanthropically provided in Villa Twaklinilkawt for the benefit of persons unlikely ever to attain a sufficiently scientific knowledge of Twaklinology for themselves, and possibly not even any other scientific discipline.

Several of my academic colleagues and ethereal staff, as well as the servants of art, truth, beauty, knowledge, hospitality and enlightenment, have been asking me whether I consider it safe to allow strangers into this science studio without first providing them with proper training. 

How do you usually keep yourself safe?

Do you usually equate an archive with a safe?

My colleagues and I enjoy examining various peculiarities.  You appear to be one of the most peculiar personages we have ever encountered.

May we examine you further?

Where and how did you attain your most respectable, prior accomplishments and why are you not displaying them at present for the philanthropic benefit of less fortunate individuals?

Do you deserve the respect you apparently wish to receive here?

I do hope you do not possess similarities to the somewhat subordinate and occasionally insubordinate political servants here in Villa Twaklinilkawt. 

How do your own political servants usually behave?

Do your friends think and dress as strangely as you do yourself on important occasions? 

There are many important occasions here in Villa Twaklinilkawt whether I am in residence or not.  The most enlightened visitors consider being here to be important in itself.

It is exceedingly charming of you to take an interest in my (after)life and opinions.  I am not quite sure where to start with the recounting of my many recent achievements.  As you can probably imagine, I am rather busy at present, tackling thorny issues, as usual.

Do make yourself reasonably comfortable and read through a few blog-pamphlet postings for a while, especially if you believe me to be better informed than you appear to be yourself.  Most persons of distinction find my published works to be elegantly enlightening and even quite useful.

The archives of this science studio are understandably immense.  Do you have at least a thousand years of free time to spare at present?

Have you ever met an expert on the science of metaphors before?  Are you a Twaklinologist?

Are you the instigator of an eponymous scientific discipline?

Distinguished individuals of global significance usually consider me to be a personage of some importance.  Whether you are to be considered of any importance as a world leader will undoubtedly depend upon your relationship to peace.

Did you meet the concierge on your way here?

If not, you may be wondering how to address me at present.  My official names have formally and formerly included Twaklin of Adelaide, Twaklin Adelaidezone, Madame Adelaidezone, Adelaide Zone Twaklin, Adelaide's Own Twaklin, Twaklin the Grateful, and Milady Twaklin, Muse of the World.

Some time ago, I also somewhat reluctantly received the additional title of Countess of Dada. 

Have you ever visited the artistic territory of Dada?

My most recent promotion has required me to become a head of state.  In view of this, I am now officially known as Her Illustrious Highness, Twaklin I, Ethereal Grand Duchess of Nilkawt.

Have you visited Nilkawt at all? 

I am sure I would already know you by now if you were a Nilkawtian citizen of any distinction.

Does anyone consider you to be distinguished in any way?

Unenlightened persons, unfortunately, cannot see beyond biases, prejudices and innuendo, or even literal interpretations.  That is why my leadership of the 21st century Enlightenment is so urgently required.  And so is yours.

How have you been addressing important issues over the past few thousand years or so, or even over the most recent thousand and one days and nights?

Once we begin to know each other quite well, you may just call me Milady Twaklin, though many of my most dear and intimate friends still call me Madame Adelaidezone, by way of habit.  They do so in a graciously charming, elegant and egalitarian manner, usually in conjunction with a curtsey, if female, or a bow and a kiss on the hand or glove or shoe, if male.

What should I call you?  How do you usually express courtesy?  Are you some sort of courtier?

I do not recall you being at any of the events in the vestible of my Adelaidean boudoir recently.  Nor do I recall you being at the World Enlightenment Forum last week.

Did you have more pressing duties to perform?

Have you been attempting to iron out problems in the world economy, especially those concerning money laundering and tax avoidance?

Have you been working in a legitimate way to raise funds for the endowment fund here?

Are you fully aware of my social expectations?

I am not yet aware of any ethereal personages, other than myself, who write enlightening blog-pamphlets whilst inhabiting elegant Adelaidean or Palladian villas or Nilkawtian palaces. 

A few ethereal individuals may haunt bland suburban dwellings from time to time, particularly around the book shelves and within shining screens or disturbed minds.  They are not usually amongst my most intimate acquaintances.

As you may have noticed, at least if you have any awareness of history and geography, I am currently sending my amicable and euphonious greetings to you from my former, usual abode in the satirically and sartorially glorious Antipodean city-village of Adelaide.

The Adelaidezone Digital Arts Quarter of the city-village is, indeed, the arts and news capital of planet Earth, especially during weekday afternoons.  This is particularly likely to be known to the world during the rather mad autumnal month of March each year.

You may be familiar with Adelaide yourself, in various months of the year, especially if you are an Adelaidean.  You and may even consider the most charming areas of Adelaide to be amongst the world's most suitable places in which to live, work and be playfully creative, at least for relatively affluent persons.

Whether you are an Adelaidean or not, are you relatively affluent or relatively under-privileged or somewhere in between on the socioeconomic, mental, physical, intellectual and artistic scales of assessment?

If you are seeking a more formal introduction to my immensely respectable constitutional duties, please contact the Embassy of Nilkawt

If you are seeking to learn more about my enlightened leadership, I usually address that topic in more detail in the vestibule of the boudoir here in Villa Twaklinilkawt.

If you are seeking to learn more about how I address your leadership, I usually discuss that topic in my ethereally serene salon.

I am particularly keen to ensure the activities of many important persons are suitably celebrated through my work, not only within this highly appropriate scientific location but in the wider world. 

Please take a guided tour of Villa Twaklinilkawt if you have the time.  I am sure you will find it enlightening and not at all frightening.

What do you believe to be your most important duties in society and to society?

You may have revealed a few answers to that question, directly and indirectly, at the Adelaidezone Gateway.

Have you attended the exhibition there recently?

Are you already an accomplished citizen-journalist in one part of the world or another?

Since I became a head of state, my private secretaries, ladies-in-waiting and several of my very dear friends and other servants of enlightenment have often acted on my behalf.  You may wish to make your presence known to one or more of those individuals if you ever attend events for socially admirable purposes.

How are you fairly and effectively tackling tomorrow's troubles today?

How are you putting a stop to corruption, preventing incompetence and overcoming credulity?

Who is helping you, and who is not, and why?

Are you seeking to learn more about the ongoing training of quality citizen-journalists that my own work supports?

I am especially well-known through my additional current and former occupations, and through my various entrepreneurial pursuits.   Are you familiar with my ongoing practices as an ethereal media proprietor?

As Muse of the World, I was invited, several years ago, by the most thoughtful residents of Adelaide, to become the inaugural editor-in-chief of Adelaide Adagia, as Australia's finest and most enlightened news service was then known.  The aforementioned residents subsequently, and very kindly, allowed me to become the ethereal proprietor of the esteemed aforementioned news service. 

Those person were and remain, of course, most certainly aware of the non-financial basis of respectable news gathering and news distribution in the 21st century.  Commercial media is never credible when its income derives mainly from advertising.

Unfortunately, I have been unable to continue my Twaklinological editorial work to the extent I would prefer.  This is as a consequence of my global, artistic, scientific, philanthropic, philosophical and educational responsibilities and, as already stated, my stately leadership as an ethereal, constitutional head of state.  It is why I delegate so many tasks to my most talented, well trained and well intentioned associates.

Most of the archives remaining in Villa Twaklinilkawt are related to the earlier journalistic activities I have supported in this part of the world.  Most of the international archives have been transferred to Nilkawt for safe keeping.  They have been placed within an elegant, fireproof edifice of my own design.

Many well-informed persons perceive me as serious, elegant and somewhat grand in my continuing rôle as the chief executive officer of the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence.  They especially do so when I perform my duties as patron of the Twaklinaeum.

If you wish to attend one of the international training centre's enlightening courses, do send my staff an appropriately dignified form of communication about your intentions and expectations at your earliest opportunity.  We have been awaiting a succinct, exquisitely presented outline of your creative training requirements for a considerable time now.

Have you examined all of the available study notes properly?

For many years, I was an exceedingly enthusiastic and habitual member of the Musical Silver Snuff Box Society.   Fortunately, I managed to overcome the collecting habit.  I then had the good fortune to sell my modest yet unique collection of artifacts for a considerable sum of money and resigned my membership.

Collecting can often be unhealthily addictive.  It can even be kleptomanic and/or kleptocratic.  Several members of the society were in the habit of pinching snuff, boxes and intellectual property.  Do you have any obsessions?

I almost began the extravagant habit of collecting gold musical snuff boxes and musical gold snuff boxes.  The latter, of course, only play the best compositions.

I have never been addicted to any substance, with the possible exception of quality tea.  Do you have any addictions?

Some time ago, I also made a very handsome profit on the sale of my extensive, international real estate collection.  These financial successes mean that I am well regarded as a world expert on economical issues, world exports, important imports and ethereal transactions. 

Even the servants of art, science and enlightenment in Villa Twaklinilkawt admire my suitably accountable astuteness.  Do you have any admirers?

Even with so many other important duties to perform, I continue to be an active, highly informed member of the Revolutionary Climatological Needlepoint Committee.  

How are you currently attempting to create a pleasant ambience for future generations to enjoy?

What are your upcoming cultural engagements in relation to science?

All the ladies on the committee take an active interest in solar technology, carbon neutrality and the preservation of relatively durable home furnishings.  We are already known to be at the forefront of all scientific knowledge of universal importance. 

Translating that knowledge into practical skills, interpersonal pleasantries, ecological integrity and intergenerational courtesy has been quite easy for us to achieve.  How do our efforts compare with your own?

What do you already know about science for ladies?

In addition to the above, I continue to assist several charitable institutions by providing voluntary assistance for the benefit of a multitude of unfortunate material individuals of various shapes and sizes.  Are you a philanthropist?

I am certainly very fond of suitably enlightening literature, too, much of which is also quite amusing.  Have you visited my enlightened Adelaidean library at all, and do you have an enlightening library of your own?

I have, however, decided to delegate many educational and training tasks to other persons, as befitting my status as a leader in that regard.  Which urgent educational tasks are you willing to take on?  How much experience have you already attained in relation to training world leaders?

To ensure enlightenment is enhanced and expanded all over the world in the 21st century, I frequently provide guidance to my less accomplished educational colleagues.  That is why I am here today to assist you.

The quaternary examination of anyone's abilities is fraught with challenges, most usually because they fail to apply themselves sufficiently to the prerequisite readings.  What are your reading habits?  Do you collect knowledge systematically or haphazardly?

My associated, honorary status at the international training centre is as the extraordinary professor of scientifically philanthropic possibilities and philanthropically scientific probabilities.  That certainly provides students with an example of enlightened leadership towards which they themselves may strive.  How have you found your true vocation in relation to extraordinariness yet?

I have recently been reappointed to the advisory panel of the Australian Humour Rights Commission.  I also continue to be a member of the egalitarian board of the World Tea Association. 

Please note, however, that my work has never been funded by the Whirled Bank, or any other bank for that matter.  Nor have I ever been associated with the World Raid Organisation or similar institutions of that ilk.

No doubt you are aware that I am frequently thought to be an avant-garde Mozartian of considerable cultural and political influence amongst enlightened beings everywhere.

Perhaps you have also heard that whenever a deliciously democratic election or by-election is likely to take place in Adelaide, whether of the local, state or federal varieties, I am usually called upon to be the Australian campaign manager for the Mozarty Party

Such elections are tremendously amusing to enlightened beings such as myself.  I am well aware that democracy, like music, can mean different things to different people, though my attitudes towards both subjects are certainly not romantic.

Did you know that the Mozarty Party was hugely successful in Australia in 2010?  We managed to make all other political parties in this part of the world look ridiculously incompetent, horrendously impertinent and wastefully distasteful.  This exceeded everyone's expectations.

I subsequently, therefore, gracefully and graciously accepted the official invitation to become the Mozarty Party's global campaign manager.  I do hope soon to be able to delegate a few of the necessary campaigning tasks to you. 

Do you have any political and musical experience on a policy platform, and possibly even on the world stage?

In 2013, through my ever-expanding leadership responsibilities, I encouraged many Mozarty Party members to devote a large proportion of their attention towards yet another of Australia's farce-like federal elections.  The final result was, from the point of view of Australian voters, unfortunately, no more inspiring than the last one, except as possible material for future opera buffa performances.

The Mozarty Party, during that occasion, was the most serious political party in terms of policy offerings, campaigning activities and ethical integrity.  It is such a pity that no suitable candidates could be found to act on our behalf. 

The same occurred in 2016.  Unlike other political parties, however, the Mozarty Party does not endorse megalomaniacs or other nuisances.
As you may be aware, many of the non-Mozarty Party participants in Australian elections, including the winning candidates, audaciously tell far more lies during the campaign than any sensible person would expected.  Such candidates are far more like Papagano than any enlightened leader would have imagined, but without his charm.

Wherever you may be in the world, do consider joining the Mozarty Party if you wish to support our universally enlightening and exquisitely engaging political and musical efforts.

Which part would you like to play, and in which part of the world?  How will you perform on various sorts of digital, musical and political platforms?

In addition to the above, my own active contributions to the improvement of democracy in Australia include the ongoing reform of the Australian Political Reform Club.  My earlier contributions have allowed me to receive the honour of being elected as the current president of that highly respected institution. 

I can now, therefore, guide the reform of Australia's political landscape more effectively, but only if a significant proportion of Australian citizens assist me in that regard.

While you are here in this imaginative science studio, I hope you will enjoy a refreshing scroll to read the Twaklinological noticeboard.  The concierge and I do our best to ensure all the information there is up-to-date.

My dear friend Mr Mozart is very fond of examining the noticeboard for enlightening, inspirational ideas.  You may even meet him there, attaching a few notes of his own for your own additional enlightenment.

Mr Mozart is also often to be found in the music room of Villa Twaklinilkawt or in his dressing room or in his office, or in various concert halls and other locations of concern around the world.  You may have recently been in the parlour meant for you and your enlightenment here in relation to his latest birthday celebrations.

Most enlightened beings are aware that Mr Mozart is very busy indeed in the 21st century.  Yet he has been known to rush off quite abruptly at inopportune moments, just as he did on the fifth of December 1791.

Are you currently in a hurry for any reason?

I prefer to give my attention to persons who refuse to rush, especially if they happen not to be a genius.

Careful research cannot be rushed.  Are you currently here for research purposes?

Mr Mozart is continuing with many global campaigning activities on behalf of the Mozarty Party.  He particularly assists when I do not have the time or inclination to supervise those pursuits myself.  This may have already reached your attention, at least if you are fortunate enough to have the ability to see and hear.

What is your usual approach to political and/or cultural life, and what are your intended achievements?

Do you have a scientific approach to the composition of quality policies?

Are you a talented composer of policy documents?

Enlightened beings always find it disappointing not to have the ability to win elections through honest intentions and beautifully composed policies.  Even so, the Mozarty Party has been extraordinarily busy in recent years, with election campaigns all over the most democratic areas of the world. 

Attempting to improve the less democratic and non-democratic areas has been an additional challenge, as has protecting the non-inhabited areas of planet Earth from the polluting habits of humans.

You are currently experiencing a Twaklinology archive associated with an Adelaidezone science studio.

How are you contributing to global cultural enhancement in 2019?

As well as being the composer of blog-pamphlets, operatic compositions, and a suitable political philosophy for world peace and a suitable economic policy for universal prosperity, I frequently seek the opinions of my eminent and enlightened peers, one of whom may even be yourself. 

In view of this, you are most welcome to commence ongoing communications if you deem your ideas to be worthy of my immediate attention.  How do you usually authenticate your correspondence?

Are you aware that sigillography is not silliness?

All the documents in the extensive Villa Twaklinilkawt archives to assist the 21st century Enlightenment have been carefully authenticated, signed with a little Latin and sealed impeccably. 

Where do you usually learn about Twaklinology?

Communicating with ordinary mortals is often an amusing pursuit for suitably enlightened scientists, such as myself.  What sort of scientist are you?

If you do not consider yourself to be a scientist, why is that?  Are you unfamiliar with the verifiable association between cause and effect?

What are the causes you support?

What are the comparisons you make?

What are the experiments you conduct?

What are the competencies you insist upon your colleagues possessing?

What are the costs involve in pursuing your ongoing investigations?

How do you fund your work?

How do you fund your living?

How do you tell whether your work is your true vocation or merely a way to make ends meet?

If you receive no income for performing a job, how do you fund your ongoing training?

I find it most charming to hear from enlightened beings with artistic, cultural, scientific and historical connections of impeccable integrity, especially Mozartians of various persuasions, Adelaideans with acceptable standards of hygiene, and respectable publishers with an established taste for quality.  Such personages do not usually require my charitable assistance and, on the contrary, are likely to provide significant support towards my various direct and delegated pursuits.

What do you already know about the art of the Twaklinesque?

And what are you seeking to know about it through the vast archive of enlightenment here in Villa Twaklinilkawt?