What Are You Likely to Gain from the Mess Trick Treaty?

Today, I have been advising the Mozarty Party on the topic of international relations.  As you may already be aware, amongst my many other duties I am...

...the most democratically astute global campaign manager of all time.  It is a role in which I act on behalf of the world's most democratically enlightened political party, to the very best of my ability.  Perhaps you would like to assist me.

The task at hand involves making an accurate assessment of the possible local and global implications of the recently proposed Mess Trick Treaty.  This treaty has been designed to ensure messy financial accounts are cleared up immediately, and all accounts, including personal and household budgets, government budgets, and all sorts of balance sheets, are compiled neatly and accurately.  In addition, such accounts are to be completed without any tricky, devious and calculating cronyism, greediness or gambles to get in the way of, or subtract from, fair and balanced local and global prosperity.

Even in liberal democracies and social democracies, the public rarely has much influence regarding the ratification of treaties.  This is an exceedingly discourteous and dangerous situation.  Just as it is rude to put down the telephone abruptly without offering an apology after dialing a wrong number, so it is rude to disregard various forms of third party inconvenience whenever numbers or general assemblies are concerned.  Accounting and accountability should always be intertwined.

One of my research assistants

In political and financial life, the public is often treated as a third party.  This is especially the case with regards to treaties, feasibilities and excellencies.  In view of this, it is very fortunate that all members of the Mozarty Party, after thorough training on the topic, believe the public to be important.  Should you wish to receive some training yourself, please contact one of my highly accountable research assistants, namely Princess Lieven.

It is useful to have a long-term view of history and possible unintended consequences, and this is something the world's external financial auditors, the editors of Rolling Stone magazine, and the drafters of the Maastricht Treaty would have been wise to note when making their own assessments in recent years.  Nurturing a narrowness of thinking in any audience, assembly, academy or auditing network does not encourage a democratically and globally engaged cultural outlook.  Do, therefore, take this opportunity to broaden your own perspective, dear reader, especially if you are a good journalist, a gonzo journalist, a good listener, an academic adviser or even a McAuditor.

International relations involves toes and treaties

If you are not a McAuditor yourself, have you ever met one or read an auditor's report as a leisurely pursuit?  Such a personage may be somewhat like the franchisee who mows the lawns of Australian suburbs, in even the most inappropriate of weathers.  The McAuditor may also be like the person who sells junk food or junk bonds to the nutritionally-challenged and financially-challenged inhabitants of Australia's suburbs.  Have you ever bought (or taken out a loan for) a franchise or even just worked for one?  Do you know how to do sums?  Have you ever owed more money than you have been able to repay?

Perhaps you have not yet heard much at all in the mainstream news media regarding the proposed Mess Trick Treaty.  The treaty has, in some unenlightened circles, been considered as similar to Mr Google's new privacy policy.  However, in its draft state, the treaty may more accurately be likened to the contents of one of the new courses at the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence.

The course in question is conducted purely on an academic audit basis.  This is necessary as it is unlikely any students will be able to pay the required assessment fees.  Do you have any opinions regarding how every financial auditor in the world should be monitored?  How should such persons be thoroughly, accurately and frequently assessed?  And what additional measures may be required for auditors to maintain the required standards of performance?

How would you judge their performance?

Tidying up policies, courses and treaties, and streamlining their humaneness, practicality and environmental values, should certainly be treated as worthwhile pursuits in any situation, incorporating a proper assessment of the performance metric whenever appropriate.  I have proposed that the treaty should be administered to a high academic standard.  But the most difficult question to answer is by whom? Perhaps you know how to judge a performance or a partnership with accuracy and alacrity.


Whereas financial auditors are meant to make an independent and impartial quantitative analysis of what is what, with or without the use or abuse of stochastic calculus, judges are meant to make a qualitative analysis of what is where, and why, and when, and how, and who is involved.  Good journalists, scientists, media auditors, politicians, and prospective politicians are meant to assess who and what may be somewhere, at some time in the future, arriving there some how, and for some reason, and perhaps in some particular quantity.

Perhaps the jury and even the judiciary is still out on this topic.  How should impartiality be monitored and upheld?  How should violence, bad business practices, and the violation of third parties and national economies be prevented?  In any business, it is very important to identify, count up and be respectful towards your best customers, unless, of course, you are supposed to be doing an independent financial audit.

Should we trust their opinions?

Are you an impartial judge yourself, dear reader?  Why is it important for an impartial judge to hear a wide range of evidence? And what are you likely to gain from the Mess Trick Treaty?  If you consider yourself to be a reasonably enlightened person, you are probably more interested in an independent and knowledgeable assessment of critical success factors rather than franchised X Factors, hence the importance of monitoring, supervising and auditing the auditors and administrators of the world, including in Australia:


Australian Treaties Database

Australia's Auditing and Assurance Standards Board

Australian Securities and Investments Commission


Australasian Consumer Fraud Taskforce

Insolvency and Trustee Service Australia

Australian National Audit Office


Institute of Internal Auditors, Australia

Australian Transaction Reports and Analysis Centre

Who is properly auditing the auditors?


The Mozarty Party shall be holding an extraordinary ethereal consistory tomorrow, in the general assembly room on the 628th floor of my observation tower, to discuss the treaty in great and global detail, with much elegance and in very good humour.  Would you like to come along?