As Revealed by Informed Sources

There are so many interesting things I wish to tell you, dear reader.  My impeccable sources have revealed so many surprising, and some would say shocking, facts, that...

...I am most eager to enlighten you at the earliest opportunity.

Unfortunately, as usual, there are news embargoes on most of the information I receive so if you are unable to cope with deferred gratification, suspense or suspended sentences, you may wish to direct your immediate inquiries to the following authorities:


South Australian Police

South Australian Attorney-General's Department

Australian Security Intelligence Organisation

Australian Federal Police

Australian National Security Public Information Campaign


The line of my own inquiries usually relates to a very important topic indeed.  It is very easy to make a start on completing the important task of creating world peace by seeking out informed sources on the subject.  First it requires the ability to identify and respect necessities. Then it is necessary to overcome the unpleasantness prevalence of aggression, narcissism, corruption, indifference, incompetence, impulsiveness and irrationality.  After that, we can all sit down with a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake and perhaps even put our feet up for a while.

One of the most important necessities, of course, is to advise others in relation to the possibilities of creating world peace, hence my own preoccupation with the task.  Do you have the ability to identify and respect necessities, embargoes, and the associated indicators of world peace, dear reader?  Are you aware of any task force regarding the topic, even in your own neighbourhood?

Do you consider your local area to be like this?

Well, the World Enlightenment Forum has been wonderfully successful, unlike the World Economic Forum.  As one of the keynote speakers at the former forum, I have been invited to compile the guest list for next year's event, which will take place at the same time in almost the same place.

All suitably experienced copy editors and enlightened media persons may nominate themselves for one of the exceedingly limited news places in 2013.  Please ensure you are able to distinguish between Juvenal and a juvenile, and between a Horace story and a horror story, if you wish to attend.

A similarly limited number of protester places will also be available, though please be advised that South Australia in January is not usually suitable for the building of igloos.  Unregistered participants, whether topless, naked, or in full snow clothing, may wish to occupy themselves on Maslin Beach at the earliest opportunity as an informal means of expressing interest.

There will also be several student places on offer at next year's World Enlightenment Forum, though as each of these will require significant corporate sponsorship, all students wishing to participate should ensure they are already world class sports persons, box office draw card movie stars, tax avoiding popular music performers, or heirs to major shareholding portfolios.

If you do not fit into any of the above categories, but you would definitely like to attend the 2013 World Enlightenment Forum, do please contact me at the earliest opportunity to...

(The above sentence is suspended until further notice, according to the conditions of the current news embargo.)