Tortoise Economies and other Leisurely Pursuits

Monsieur Saint-Saëns and I have been sitting in my garden over luncheon, discussing tortoise economies, household management, and the qualities of a perfect sales pitch.  He was most amused to hear of...


...Monsieur Offenbach's recent communications with me.  Monsieur Saint-Saëns, you may recall, dear reader, visited me some time ago to discuss the topic of enlightened transportation.

The part of Australia's economy known to be speeding along at an infernal gallop is, of course, destined for the furnaces of larger economies.  However, I am quite fond of tortoise economies, especially when they allow one to enjoy a longer than usual luncheon.

An introduction to tortoise economies


Life in Adelaide frequently travels along at an unhealthily rapid pace.  My campaigning on behalf of the Mozarty Party is rather frantic at present, somewhat like many of the emergency hospital departments of the world.  The work of the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence on behalf of the 21st century Enlightenment is bounding along faster than a manic kangaroo.

Thousands of Adelaideans are rushing to queue for free tickets for my opera, even though only ten such tickets are available.  I am not sure how many of those queuing personages will be willing to pay a full, unsubsidized price, either for an opera seat or a hospital bed.  Some seem willing enough to pay a very high price to see a sporting competition, even through their taxes.  Others, I am told, will pay a large sum in any currency to hear an amplified presentation of highly repetitive noises of the most commercial kind.

My parlour is abuzz with brilliant wit and inspiration.  The library is filled with literary fascination.  My villa is renowned for glorious conversation.  Everyone knows it is the best place in the nation.  And I serve the world's best luncheon.

The International Monetary Fund and the International Money Tree Fund have very little to say on the subject of tortoise economies, except to treat them in the same way as a cooling inferno.

IMF response

There is nothing wrong with a tortoise economy as long as one does not spend too much time shopping, especially using money one does not own.  A tortoise economy provides the proper amount of time for proper study, including a thorough examination of the work my colleagues and I have accomplished.

Luncheon should always be as leisurely as possible when in the company of a great mind, whether in person, in book form, or in one of the better musical forms for comfortable digestion.  But never, ever, serve turtle, or even mock turtle soup.  Tortoises often find turtle troubles unhelpful.