A New Professor

You may be aware that I attended a very important picnic on Australia Day.  A great many eminent persons were there, enjoying the delightful summer atmosphere of the Fleurieu Peninsula whilst...

...eating sandwiches, sipping tea, and talking on topics of profound importance.


The picnic gathering, for the World Enlightenment Forum, included such distinguished personages as Monsieur Jean-Baptiste le Rond d'Alembert, Count Leo Tolstoy, Monsieur Jean Racine, Monsieur Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Mr Aristotle, and Mr Cyrus Achaemenid.  The latter, apparently, knows my acquaintance Kate the Great and her travelling companions, and is also on quite familiar terms with my dear friend Mr Akbar.

One of the reasons for my interest in the forum, was that it was an opportunity to converse with all of the candidates for the new ethereal professorship recently advertised for the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence.  You may be aware, dear reader, that my duties as Chief Executive Officer of that renowned institution require that I sit on the selection panel.

It is always wise to meet potential employees in an informal, outdoor setting prior to confirming an appointment.  As none of the persons mentioned above has applied for the position of Enlightened Professor of Biographical Studies, they will not be embarrassed by the following announcement:

It is with the greatest pleasure that I am able to inform you that the successful applicant is Captain Thomas Coram, a person without whom the biographies of many persons would not otherwise have been possible, especially beyond the months or years of early childhood.

 Captain Coram finds it quite concerning that some unenlightened personages confuse him with Monsieur Carême, especially as it is extremely important to know the difference between fondant, foundations and foundlings.

Courageous
Captain Coram

The captain, or as I should now say, Professor Coram, has the most distinguished set of references I have ever encountered.  His referees include some of my oldest and dearest friends, including Mr William Hogarth and Mr George Frederic Handel.

On the selection panel with me were Mr W.A. Mozart and Queen Charlotte, of course, as well as three independent experts: Madame Suzanne Curchod Necker, Maestro Antonio Vivaldi and Professor Giambattista Vico.  We are all very pleased with our unanimous decision to appoint the courageous captain to such an important position.