Luminiferous Networks

Enlightened systems of transmission always place physical characteristics at the lowest end of the communication scale.  The physical has always been a source of...

...confusion for material personages, especially politicians and news editors.

Photophone prototype for NBN

It is important to remember that we ethereal beings are not affected by the presence of matter but matter is significantly affected by us.  We are, indeed, the essence of luminiferous aether.  We are equally the equivalent of every gravitational field and four-dimensional space-time continuum, but more importantly, we are the true founders of the seven-part Open System Interconnection model of network protocols and polite society.

Although Saint Teresa of Ávila forgot to mention bits per second when describing the seven layers of ethereal functionality in the Interior Castle, and Mr T.E. Lawrence avoided all references to data compression algorithms in Seven Pillars of Wisdom, such authors may be forgiven for not being ahead of their own time concerning the use of host bus adapters, network adapters and Media Access Control addresses.

Today, I have been discussing these matters through a photophone connection with Monsieur Jacques de Vaucanson, who is a highly amusing fellow even though he is currently in Canberra.  Monsieur de Vaucanson has been following the hilarious National Broadband Network debate from the public gallery of the Senate in Australia's Parliament House.  He has frequently been required to leave the entire building in search of fresher air when his guffaws could not be suppressed.

Monsieur de Vaucanson has been able to contact me from Canberra both ethereally and digitally, using a combination of wholesale and retail methodologies.  He does not understand what the politicians are trying to achieve, wherever they profess to sit on the ideological telecommunications spectrum.  He is especially perplexed by the requirement for Telstra to separate its wholesale and retail businesses when its competitors are not required to do likewise.

I, of course, am required to remain in Adelaide to co-ordinate the Mozarty Party's response to the broadband issue.  You may be aware, dear reader, of our Broadband Symphony Orchestra's role in our campaigning.   One of the flute players in the orchestra is an advanced digital automaton, created by Monsieur de Vaucanson to take his place whenever he is observing parliamentary proceedings on our behalf in Canberra.

Although Monsieur de Vaucanson has not created any automatons to replace politicians at either the federal, state or local levels of Australia's governance, there is a distinct possibility that someone else may have done so.  Automatons are also likely to be prevalent throughout Australia's media environment, though Monsieur de Vaucanson has indicated to me that he has never been approached to advise on the maintenance of such mechanical fads.

Many members of the Nice Baritone Network have also stated that they will be delighted to assist with the Mozarty Party's broadband endeavours, though without any automatons amongst them, and with no amplification either.   Nice baritones do not like expressing their voices and concerns in any non-aerodynamic format, though they do have quite strong views on vital, digital telecommunications choices.

An example of popular singing, not operatic artistry

Just as I am interested in the preservation and maintenance of great works of art, I am also interested in the preservation and maintenance of civilised public infrastructure.  Enlightened personages know that matters involving matter should always make maintenance of matter a matter of absolute priority.  Unfortunately, this is rarely heeded by government bureaucrats and policy makers.

There is frequently a lack of inhibition on the part of those involved in the businesses of demolition and demagoguery, whether in the area of political debating or infrastructure planning.   As any scrap metal merchant and telecommunications field technician will tell you, the rapidly disintegrating twisted-pair copper telephone wires of Australia require urgent replacement in many areas of the country.  My concern, however, is to prevent waste.

Landfill has, for many years, been a place of rubble as well as rubbish.  This is quite fortunate for Australia considering its cities are not yet amongst the oldest or most densely populated in the world, yet it is advisable to take heed of what has been happening elsewhere. The waste and replace mode of management is widespread in the governmental, commercial and community spheres of human endeavour, as the people of Naples and Palermo know only too well.

Mr P Bruegel snr. observes Naples from a helicopter

Yesterday afternoon, I had tea and clootie dumpling in my parlour with Mr Alexander Graham Bell, an interesting acquaintance who has the same aversion to telephones as myself.  We both believe that intrusive contraptions should not be permitted to interfere with the art of enlightened conversation, though we disagree on their use in matters of compulsory contraception.

Although I believe barrier methods of contraception are important in a great many circumstances, eugenics and point-to-point telecommunications should have no place in such matters.  This is especially the case in relation to the control of crowds, the management of each person's disabilities, the practice of demogoguery, and the use of network interface controllers. 

Mr Bell and I appear to agree that creative approaches to research, blog pamphleteering  and waste management require suitably informed and humane strategies, even without a thorough understanding of molecular evolution, genetic engineering and microsegmentation.  We understand each other well enough to avoid having cross words and other unintended consequences, and our enlightenment is always limited by the relevance paradox.

We never waste our time with crossword puzzles, though we both believe telephonic crosstalk to be an invasion of each person's privacy and creativity.  Mr Bell and I do not wish to listen clandestinely to our neighbours' telephone conversations, however amusing they may be.  Nor do we want our neighbours to be able to record our personal details whenever we telephone a bank, a medical adviser, or a member of parliament.

Another smart Aleck

Whether coupling is of the amorous, capacitive, inductive or conductive variety, I believe it should always be a private matter between appropriately consenting adult persons, though Mr Bell and I differ on the techniques to be used.  I personally do not wish to be interfered with in any way, whether erotically or electronically, especially whilst using a telephone or photophone.  Nor do I wish to be a party to co-channel interference or adjacent-channel interference, whatever the data transfer rate, especially with statistical time division multiplexing.

Even though Asymmetic Digital Subscriber Line services may have some temporal advantages over a voiceband modem in urban areas, electromagnetic interference is especially an issue after heavy rain, particularly when failing to obtain a dialing tone on a traditional Australian telephone.

You may have seen a small hole in an Australian footpath with the initials PMG marked next to it, dear reader.  If there is a puddle of water, or just a small sign of dampness in the vicinity, you may make the connection between wetness and failed telecommunications connections, especially if you have even a slight knowledge of physics.

Mr Alexander Graham Bell and I are especially in agreement with Mr Alessandro Scarlatti on this topic.  Mr Scarlatti is an expert on both creative communications and the baroque binary form, the latter of which he chose to abandon in favour of da capo arias.  Unfortunately, da capo cannot be applied in the same way to digital communications, hence the difficulty when applied within parliamentary debates.

Mr Bell with a da capo device

It is wise to note that new does not necessarily mean better, as the arts and entertainment industries may very well indicate.  However, a good telecommunications network, like a good aria, should always include elocution as an exquisite consideration, as Mr Bell and Mr Scarlatti well know.  This may even apply to cable television, parliamentary elections, and the more useful applications of coaxial cables.

Articulation, whether phonetic, musical or political, needs to be clearly stated in terms of transition or continuity.  Luminiferous networks must be established only if they are able to ensure quality.

Accounting for the composition and its implementation must always be accurate.  Future performances must be guaranteed.   The likely popularity of the work, especially if produced on a grand scale, must not ignore many other social needs requiring long-term application of effort, especially if high success and eternal relevance are to be achieved.

But now I must again contact Monsieur de Vaucanson by photophone to discover more about the future of Australia's telecommunications services.  I do hope the legislation will articulate more legato than staccato, whatever the outcome.  And, hopefully, it will not be wasteful.