The Winter Campaign

Bonjour mes amis. C'est un beau matin d'Adélaïde. N'est pas? Oh... I forgot Napoleon lost the Battle of Waterloo. Who will win the current campaign?

Perhaps if... 
Napoleon had chosen to go skiing somewhere other than Russia in 1812, as the picture below indicates, we may all have been speaking French by 1815.

  

Napoleon might have won in the European winter of 1812 and the European summer in 1815 if he had chosen the Adelaide plains instead, in any season.  A previous encounter between the French and British, not far from here in April 1802, was surprisingly amicable.


The almond blossom is starting to come out here now.  It will look very pretty by election day.  The Mozarty Party finds winter campaigning highly invigorating nevertheless.  We are all eating very well and our singing might even be improving.  

Napoleon was very fond of potatoes and onions and did not eat his greens or salads as frequently as perhaps he should.  Good nutrition may have something to do with political outcomes, and I seek your enlightened views on this matter, dear reader.

I am sure that your visits to Adelaide Zone Twaklin will have given you some indication of the Mozarty Party's creative stories, historical insights and reflections on society.  Do we deserve your vote?

You will have discovered the global applicability of our policies, our incisive comments on lifestyle choices, and the importance we give to advancing enlightened education through the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence.  

All these aspects of our election campaign are the envy of our rivals.  We, of course, have the best slogan, too, and never need to change it:  Enlightened desktops are far better than enlightened despots.


Even Napoleon followed our advice for most of his better policies.  It was, apparently, unofficially recorded that he wanted to return to an imperial system of weights and measures at one time.  He decreed this while drinking brandy in an inn somewhere near the Rhine one evening.  The source was the innkeeper's daughter, who was a very tall girl and often made fun of men of average height so her views should be treated with some skepticism. 


Fortunately for the world, even if it did happened, Napoleon changed his mind in time for his breakfast of two kilograms of fried potatoes.  All members of the Mozarty Party know that it is always wise to be suspicious of people who do not use the metric system.  Anything imperial is highly distasteful to us, which is why we are launching a new policy later today.  

As we like to give the Australian media a few hours to prepare for such things, in the hope that its members will at least learn how to write the names down properly, you may like to inform your journalistic acquaintances in the meantime about a new government department we will be establishing.  The new department will absorb several current departments.  It will be called The Department for Diminishing the Domination of Dictators and Despots.

There are clouds now above Adelaide.  Should I go to the barricades known as supermarket checkouts to annoy a few voters?